my sexuality is ‘people tell me im cute but no one actually wants to smooch me wtf is wrong with you assholes’
(via buttt-holes)
so i walked into my brother’s room he was asleep and i knocked something over and he said “if you’re a ghost or some shit please fuck off im too tired for this”
(Source: paledreamers, via danisnotorfire)
Oh my god my mom brought me an iced coffee when she picked me up from strength training and i was drinking it really fast cause i was so hot and sweaty but then we hit a bump in the road and it spilled aLL DOWN MY CLEAVAGE BUT IT FELT INCREDIBLE SO I MADE THIS LOUD SEXUAL MOAN AND MY MOM ALMOST CRASHED
holy shit you guys sure like my sexy near-death experiences
(via archdioceseofawesome)
this shirt would fit if it weren’t for boobs: a tragedy
that shirt would fit if i had boobs: the sequel
this shirt fits perfectly because my boobs are the right size: the fanfiction
my shirts always fit: a man’s tale
(via kellbellloves1d)
so no one told you life was gonna be this way
your blog’s a joke you’re broke your otp is gay
it’s like you’re always just stuck waiting here
for a tv show that’s not been on for months, or even for years
but, tumblr’s here for youuu, when the tears start to fall
tumblr’s here for youu, like no website before
tumblr’s here for you, ‘cause you’ve got nothing else to do
(via loveatfirstphil)
